i want to love you

 I want to spend the rest of my life just telling you and showing you how much I love you, just because I want you to live. You know, we spent our 20s fighting ourselves just because we simply didn't know how to love ourselves. We found ourselves in what seemed to be an endless cycle of pain, fear, and rejection, especially from ourselves. And because we couldn't really love ourselves, we allowed ourselves to be used. I don't know how many one sided friendships that we have found ourselves in simply, we were too afraid to face us, because we could not love us enough to say this is bullshit. As long as we were doing something good, you said, someday they were going to see and appreciate; You somehow convinced us that if we didn’t address it, if we accepted no existing apologies, if we allowed them to walk all over us, then we would be seen as less sensitive. Somehow, none of those things ever happened; the more you gave is the more they took. Lori, that was self-loathing; it was self-hate

 

I want us to spend our 30s loving us, I want to pour into you till you start blooming. I want healthy boundaries, I need you to speak up, I want two-sided friendships and relationships, I want detachment where necessary, and I want you to stop surviving. I just want to love you.

 

Let’s start daydreaming again and create vision boards, take me to ice cream dates, and allow me to have new experiences. Allow us to accept help and to be loved.

 

Pour your thoughts on these pages until we can breathe again and fully love us 

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